Never Let You Down
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: After having survived his own family being destitute and his father's helplessness, Ed had vowed never to let his family down like that. Based on a scene from eppy 2.01 'Business as Usual'


**Title: Never Let You Down**

**Summary:** After having survived his own family being destitute and his father's helplessness, Ed had vowed never to let his family down like that. Based on a scene from eppy 2.01 'Business as Usual'

**Disclaimer: ** Ah you know write? Ed's with me and well yeah that's about it…lol

**A/N:** Well I hadn't planned on any additional OS plot bunnies at this time but Business as Usual was on Bravo this week and this just came to us so I let Alice run with it and I hope you all like what we have come up with. This is really just gonna focus on our beloved Eddie and what he might have been thinking about his own personal life experiences after that hot call. Since we only know what his family faced I'm gonna make up the dialogue, names and circumstances and hope it's okay and I hope you all like this.

_"Words in italics and double quotes – directly from the eppy." (the other italics in single quotes are flashbacks)_

* * *

_"My name's Ed Lane and I'm with the Police Strategic Response unit. How ya doin'?"_

_"He's not going anywhere."_

_"I know what's going on here Brian. Now I gotta tell ya right outta the gate that I'm sympathetic. I understand exactly what it is you're going through. Lotsa people understand what you're going through."_

_"No they don't!"_

_"I get it…you're angry and I get that. When I was a kid I saw my folks go through the very same thing. You feel helpless."_

_"Don't try to stop me….you understand…now let me through."_

_"In this job…we hear a lot of crazy things…a lot. And what you're asking for isn't crazy…but I can't do that. I can't let you do that. Show Stan there's another way…please."_

As soon as Spike had fed his earpiece about Brian's situation, that he had lost his home and job and had no current address and then about his friend's wife taking her life after they had lost their home, Ed understood the rash emotional state of mind of the man before him. For a split second his mind flashed back to a very strained time in his own childhood and his heart skipped a painful beat before he forces himself to push the memory to the side and then focus on getting the very agitated man before him to put the gun down and resolve the situation peacefully. As much as he understands the driving force behind the gunman, he knows the law comes first and wasn't about to help another man break it; no matter the seemingly admirable the justification.

_"Please…" _Ed begs again, hoping that Wordy's MP5 raised behind him wouldn't have to be used on a man already so desperate. He knows there is nothing any of them can do to bring Stan's wife back, but he knows that much like his wife wouldn't want him to do something rash; Carol wouldn't want either Stan or Brian to do anything equally stupid, and his current course of action was promising hefty fines if not actual jail time.

Brian finally lowers the gun and allows himself to be taken into custody, Ed's anxiety slowly cooling as he heaves an audible sigh of relief; Wordy's fingers giving his shoulder a small squeeze of comfort and reassurance. As much as he wanted to stay behind and reassure Brian a bit further, he had to follow Joel Graves; his mind making a promise to just check up on the rather destitute man after this was over.

Joel makes his apology and Greg ultimately saves Stan from himself and the rather tense day ends on a somewhat peaceful note at least for his team; the day ending a lot differently for another team – that of Stan and his two faithful but very desperate cohorts. Despite the fact that Greg was going to tell Donna Sabine that she was the chosen temporary replacement for Jules while she was on her weeks of recovery and rehab and that he should be there to officially welcome her to the team since she was his top pick out of them all, his mind and heart wanted to see how the intrepid trio had fared after all was said and done before heading home.

He had learned from Greg that they were in the ER waiting room; Stan having doused himself with gasoline and needing some treatment before each of them would be booked on minor charges; Brian facing the most serious of the group. After a brief detour to Tim Horton's, Ed picks up what he needs and then enters the hospital, heading toward the men seated together and looking up with genuinely surprised glances as the SRU team leader approaches.

"Here," Ed offers.

"Thank you," the three of them reply softly as Ed slowly eases himself down onto the last unoccupied chair, right beside Brian; the three of them exchanging whispered questions about why this somewhat stranger was showing them any kind of kindness.

"Waiting long?" Ed leans over and asks Stan, who looks at him with a downcast expression and then nods.

"You have a family to get to?" Brian asks with a small sigh.

"Yeah," Ed nods as he looks at the clock on the wall and offers it a small frown, remembering Spike's words about Brian earlier,_ "no family…no listed address." _What did he have to go back to? A few possessions and sleeping in a car every night? Nothing now? Homeless…on the street. That sad image tugs at Ed's heart as he glances sideways at Brian and notices him looking down at the handcuff keeping him fastened to the somewhat uncomfortable chair.

"You said earlier your family had lost everything when you were a kid," Brian states more than asks Ed directly before he slowly looks up at him.

"Yeah I was not even a teen…close but not there…" Ed pauses as he leans back in the chair and allows his mind to conjure up the sad memory. "But I remember…I remember like it happened yesterday."

_'Mom what's wrong? Why's dad upset?'_

_'Take your brother to his room please.'_

_'But mom…'_

_'Edward don't argue with your mother!'_

_'Yes father.'_

"He thought I listened and left but…but I hung back and waited…I had to know what made him so…so sad and angry at the same time," Ed continues with a morose tone.

_'Ed what's up…'_

_'Shut up Roy and let me listen.'_

_'To what?'_

_'Mom and dad. Now you can stay here only if you shut up!'_

_'Charles what happened?'_

_'We lost it all Amy. All of it…the bank just foreclosed on us.'_

_'Didn't you tell them you have some job prospects?'_

_'I did but they don't care. They want to see a signed job offer before they give us more money…we hafta pack up and leave.'_

_'And go where? The street? Charles we have nowhere to go!'_

_'WE CAN'T STAY HERE!'_

"I remember my father shouting and then apologizing…he was scared…mom was scared…hell we all were scared. My dad…he was the provider; it was his job and now that job was moot. I remember going to bed that night and just crying…I didn't know why…I just did. I was scared…I didn't know why. I had no answers…my father had no solutions."

"Sorry," the three of them offer.

"What happened?" Stan manages.

_'Charles we can go to my sisters for the time being. Claire has a small basement suite that…'_

_'I refuse to let us be charity Amy. We don't take charity…'_

_'It's called help and we need it right now! Otherwise they'll take Edward and Roy away from us. I won't let my family be torn apart like that! Will you? Will you allow your pride to do that to us?'_

_'No! I don't want to lose them either but I refuse to…'_

_'What? Accept some help? It's better for us to be crammed into a small two bedroom apartment than sharing a cardboard box on the street!'_

"The argument was intense but my father did the right thing. So we started to pack up what we could…the rest we tried to sell to get some extra money. I remember my brother asking me what was wrong and I didn't know. I told him it was just a temporary change but I didn't know; all I knew was things weren't the same and we were all tense, everything was so tense. Things were so tight for a few months and food and other necessities were scarce but somehow we managed. We managed."

_'Now I know it's small but you two are just going to have to make due until we find a new place of our own.'_

_'Mom, why'd we have to move? I liked that house.'_

_'I know Edward, me too. But this is okay. I am really gonna need your help.'_

_'Sure mom with what?'_

_'We won't have what we did before right now and you are Roy are really going to have to share everything. I want no arguing and no asking for things right now. Understand?'_

_'Why?'_

_'I'll explain later okay? For now I just want you two to try to unpack and settle in a bit. Read your comic or whatever but I need to talk to your aunt.'_

_'Where's dad?'_

_'He's out looking for a new job.'_

_'Is he gonna be okay?'_

_'He's gonna be stressed until he does find a job and he won't have as much time for you two as he did before okay? So I'm gonna need your help to make sure we don't put more pressure on him than he can handle. We all hafta help out right now, do our part.'_

_'Are we gonna stay here forever?'_

_'No sweetheart, this is only temporary. Now go help your brother.'_

Ed pauses as he looks at the clock once more and then back down at the floor, his heart starting to beat painfully in his chest.

"I remember asking my dad why it happened and he just said it was the way things go at times. He always put on a brave face for us…always. He never wanted us to see him weak but I would sometimes sneak out of bed when my brother was asleep when I would hear him in the living room, sometimes crying, sometimes cursing and sometimes…there was just silence. He had no answers…no solution. I felt his helplessness and it scared me. Still does at times even now."

Ed leans back in the chair a bit more and closes his weary eyes a few seconds before he opens them and then looks over at the three faces watching him expectantly. He had wanted to tell Brian that he saw the same despair in his eyes today but why emotionally beat a man who's already down? He knows things are hopeless and unless a viable solution is offered why add further emotional insult to growing physical injury? Would the judge throw the book at him? Or would he hear his story and grant some leniency and only a fine?

"He found work later?"

"Yeah a few months later," Ed starts once more as he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and taking a deep breath as he forces himself to relive the painful memories once more.

_'Amy I have good news! Kids! Where are you all?'_

_'What is it?' She called out as she hurried into the small living room to greet him; Ed and Roy coming out of their small shared bedroom in curiosity. _

_'I found a job and I start in two weeks. Its starting wage only; back at the beginning, but it's something.'_

_'That's wonderful.'_

_'A few more months and we can finally get back on track again.'_

"It was a bit longer than just a few months but things finally got somewhat back to normal. We moved out of my aunt's home got a new home in a different neighborhood not far from where we were before and…and that was it."

"You got that back…me…I have only a car to go back to and am sure it's now been impounded and my stuff sent to the dump," Brian sighs as he takes another sip of his coffee. "Thanks for this."

"Sure," Ed manages weakly, not even sure what words of hope he could offer. He wasn't in the employment field so couldn't give any of them some false hope that he'd assure them jobs once they were done straightening out their legal entanglements. He looks at them with a heavy frown, getting a weak smile from Brian in return. "I'm sorry…I wish I knew what to say…what to offer. I would like to help more but I don't know how or what to do."

"Actually it's okay if I go to jail. I mean this way I'm guaranteed a warm bed and some solid meals for the first time in months," Brian lightly quips.

"Shared showers," Lorne finally pipes up, bringing a small chuckle to all their faces. But the jubilation is short lived as the aftermath of their actions is quickly pondered and a destitute feeling starts to settle upon them once again.

"I really hope it doesn't come to that and I'll put in a good word but I'm sorry…I can't do more," Ed acknowledges.

"It's okay," three glum voices chime at once, their tones teetering on the verge of uncertainty and about to fall off the emotional precipice.

"I talked to my family," Lorne sighs. "My wife…she said she gets it but um…well she was mad as I kinda expected. I know she didn't want this. She has a friend that she and the kids can stay with. But I know I let her down. I'm the one to take care of the family right? It rests on me. I let them down."

"Sorry," Ed whispers; thankful that his father hadn't abandoned them in their darkest financial hour or resorted to something illegal and leave them in total despair. The four of them sit in the busy area a bit longer in silence, listening to the dull chatter in the air around them until Ed knows he should get going.

"Thanks again Mr. Lane…"

"Ed, please," he insists getting a warm smile from Brian and a nod.

"Thanks again Ed…even for coming down here. Means a lot," Brian replies in honestly, the other two nodding in agreement.

"I wish I could do more…I'm sorry…I really am."

Ed lingers a bit longer before he takes his leave, not wanting to promise them anything as he wasn't even sure where they'd all end up in a few months and what other life plans they might have made during their legal journey through the system. And he would make good on his end of the bargain he would put in a good word and then hope for the best.

On the drive home Ed ponders his father's actions during those tough times and was happy and proud that despite the despair and utter helplessness they all felt at times, his father never resorted to anything illegal or underhanded, never wanting to jeopardize the wellbeing of his family and certainly never wanting to leave them destitute or at the mercy of the court system; his failure being complete if his children were indeed taken from him. Ed understood Lorne's actions but now instead of trying to help his family get through this together, they would be visiting him possibly in jail or worse, trying to find nonexistent funds to pay for unnecessary legal fees. _If only they'd thought it through, _he ponders. However, his mind quickly reminds him that men so down and out and desperate only see the here and now, they sometimes forget the bigger picture even exists. Law enforcement, the SRU had taught him to look a bit further to the future consequences of his present actions. That and the strong love and devotion to his family kept him grounded and in line.

As he pulls into his driveway Ed thinks about his own family and what would happen if he were to be injured in the line of duty or worse, be laid off altogether due to cutbacks or a severe economic recession. How would they fair? The despair in Lorne's voice after talking to his wife and telling her what happened also helped reinforce his stance to never take the law into his own hands; he respected those laws and worked very hard to uphold them for a reason; they molded him from a child to adult. His father had told him when he was young to pick an honorable profession and to prove himself honorably so that he'd always be valuable and employable.

_'Do that and you'll never let them down.'_

But his father also candidly reminded him that sometimes there were things against his control and to just roll with it and stick together as a family; that's where his real strength would come from. Ed opens the door and hears soft laughter coming from the kitchen and smiles as he turns the lock and takes off his coat. For a spilt second he looks up and watches as his mind flashes an image of himself in the hallway asking his father what was wrong and being told that everything would be fine and it was his job as the family head and main provider to ensure that his family was always taken care of and looked after.

_'For better or worse son…no matter what. When you have a family of your own someday you remember that. You are the provider and the one they'll expect to take care of them no matter what. That is your job.'_

_'What if I can't dad?'_

_'There is no can't Edward…you will. And that is all.'_

And he was right; Ed's mind takes comfort in the fact that he had learned those attributes from his father and those pushed him to be the best husband and provider her could for his family despite his failings.

"Hey," he greets his family with a warm smile as he enters the kitchen.

"Hey dad," Clark looks up from some homework and smiles at him. He looks at his beloved son and remembers the night Sophie told him she was pregnant and they were actually gonna be a family. He had sat up in the living room, looking at their finances, looking at income statements and wondering if they would be able to continue as is or if Sophie would have to get more of a steady job; would things be strained? What happens if he lost everything? Then it wouldn't be just him and Sophie to worry about, a child would have to be considered also. That moment his own childhood flooded back and in that second he vowed his son would never experience what he did; he would never let his family feel that – if he could at all help it.

"Saw you on the news today," Sophie greets her husband with a warm hug and kiss, pulling him back to reality from his morose thoughts. "You okay?" She inquires, noticing the strained look on his face.

"Just tired," Ed replies a bit too fast and earning a skeptical eyebrow wag from his wife. "Tough call. A couple of guys who lost their houses…jobs…some their families and…it just brought back some tough memories."

"Is that why you're late?"

"I stopped by the hospital to see them, brought them some coffee. But what else can I do right? They broke the law. I mean no matter how down my father was, he never resorted to that. But still…I understood their feelings and actions."

"Tell me more about it. How many were there?"

"Three…the guy I talked down…Brian, he…" Ed starts into his story as he leans against the fridge and starts into some of the details about their emotionally charged call. He looks over at Clark who was watching and then back at his wife and smiles as a feeling of comfort starts to wash over him; the first time since the he left the house. He had made a promise to them and to himself that come what may he'd never let their family fall apart; especially by his own doing, knowing he'd never break the law, no matter how down and out they would find themselves.

"Ed?" Sophie's voice brings him back to reality.

"I'll never let you down, either of you," he states audibly, if for nothing else but to reconfirm in his own mind the validity of those words that keep him in line.

"You haven't yet," she smiles as she gives him a brief hug and then looks at him tenderly. "And I know you never will," she assures him, bringing a comforting smile to his face. "Supper time now."

"Right."

Ed pulls away and washes his hands, thankful for his family and their continued loving support; something he more than feels sorry for the three who would be facing legal action tonight by their own doing. He looks at his family and feels comfort wash over him despite the day's anxiety and happy he had made the choices he has.

"Dad?"

"Yeah."

"Can we go to the game on the weekend?"

"Who's playing, the Leafs?" Ed teases his son.

"The Raptors," Clark groans, referring to the city's basketball team. "It's still basketball season."

"Oh right…sure we can go," Ed replies, getting a very happy smile and enthusiastic 'yes' from his son in return.

_'Remember son…you are the one in charge of looking after your family. You do that honorably and no matter what you'll never let them down.'_

And he had stayed true to those words after over fifteen years of marriage; he still hadn't let them down.

**THE END!**

* * *

**A/N:** Okay so hope this was okay. Haven't done a completely Ed centric piece in a while but after seeing that eppy and knowing what a tough situation that must have been I just wanted to explore it a bit more. I don't have him playing off anyone else but his own thoughts and past so am always a bit nervous with these and hope you can picture our Eddie thinking/saying these things. please do review before you go as I would love your thoughts on this and thanks so much!


End file.
